


SPN Coda 14x19 - "Jack in the Box"

by heylittleangel



Series: Supernatural Codas - Season 14 [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apologizing Dean Winchester, Coda, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 14:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylittleangel/pseuds/heylittleangel
Summary: I saw a lot of people saying they wished Dean would for once go to Cas and apologize, and after this episode, I thought it would be great to finally do it since the writers won't. I hope y'all like it.And I have to thank the amazingMalfor betaing (again) andMariantoo. You guys are awesome!





	SPN Coda 14x19 - "Jack in the Box"

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a lot of people saying they wished Dean would for once go to Cas and apologize, and after this episode, I thought it would be great to finally do it since the writers won't. I hope y'all like it.  
> And I have to thank the amazing [ Mal ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalMuses/pseuds/MalMuses) for betaing (again) and [ Marian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter) too. You guys are awesome!

 

 

 

 

 

Dean lies awake in his bed at three a.m., staring at the ceiling, the blankets thrown to the side and the memory foam doing nothing to make the hunter feel more comfortable in his own bed.

 

He’s been staring at the ceiling since he laid down, which was a few hours ago. His head hasn’t been giving him a good time, only making him think about everything that has happened and making him feel even guiltier about it; the fact that they were able to make Jack come home and then lock him away, thinking that would solve all the problems.

 

But Jack was stronger than Dean imagined, and he got out of the Ma’lak box. As soon as he saw Jack standing there, all the dust around the room, the emergency lights of the bunker making everything red and dark, he thought they were all going to die. Maybe not Cas because he wasn’t responsible for locking Jack up. Neither Sam, only Dean. Dean was the only one that should suffer from locking Jack up.

 

But Jack only stared at them, his eyes glowing with his powers, and then he was gone, just like that. Dean didn’t take his eyes from the spot where Jack had been, not wanting to see the looks Sam and Cas were going to give him, the weight their eyes would be on him, reminding him that was his fault, that they could have done it differently and maybe everything would have been okay.

 

When Sam and Cas leave the room, Dean stays behind with all his thoughts. He doesn’t know how long he stays frozen, staring at the same place, thinking about how he could have changed things if he’d just tried to. He could have approached Jack a thousand different ways, but he decided for the worst as he always does.

 

And now that he’s been awake for hours, with no distractions, more ways that he could have dealt with Jack appear on his mind, only making him feel worse; the look Sam gave him when he told him his plan; the hurt in Castiel’s voice and eyes when Dean had said that Jack was in the Ma’lak box and he wasn’t going to let him out. All of it accumulates and Dean just wants to cry and punch someone (preferably himself) and go after Jack and try to make things right.

 

But instead of doing any of those things, he just stays there, staring at the ceiling, his eyes hurting from staying open for too long. When he finally blinks and moves his eyes to the clock on his nightstand, it’s already four a.m..

 

Dean sits in the bed and rubs his eyes, sighing. He stands up and decides to do something useful instead of just wasting his time looking at the white ceiling. He grabs the closest shirt he sees on the floor (which probably isn’t the best idea because he has no idea how long it has been there) and puts it on while he leaves the room.

 

He follows the path to the kitchen and, once there, goes to the coffee pot, which is half full and still hot. Dean looks around but he doesn’t see anyone so maybe someone else had the same idea he did. He shrugs and decides to get the coffee. He pours it into a mug and leaves the kitchen, walking to the library.

 

There’s no one there as well but there are some books scattered across the table, most of them open and with lots of sticky notes in them.  He puts the mug on the table and when he’s about to sit in one of the chairs, he feels a cold breeze so he looks at what they call the front door of the bunker and notices it’s slightly open and that concerns Dean.

 

He takes the gun he keeps hidden under the table (you never know when you are going to need it) and raises it up, walking to the war room and going up the stairs. He can’t see anyone around the bunker from there but that doesn’t make him feel any better.

 

When he gets to the door, he opens it and looks outside. He sees Castiel sitting across the street, near the trees, looking at the sky. Dean lowers the gun and puts it on the table near the door inside the bunker. He leaves the door open and walks until he’s beside Cas.

 

He sits on the spot next to the angel but not doesn’t lookat him yet. He knows he needs to apologize and if Cas doesn’t forgive him, well, Dean won’t be surprised. Especially after what he did.

 

The hunter takes a deep breath and takes his eyes from the sky, focusing them on Cas, “I’m sorry.”

 

Castiel huffs a humorless laugh, “That doesn’t change anything, Dean. You acted behind my back. And you did it because you knew it wasn’t the right choice, just like you always say to me.”

 

“I know, Cas. I didn’t know what else to do and I was desperate. I still am. He killed my mom, how do you want me to cope with that? I loved the kid and he was family, but he lost his soul, you know that. I was trying to avoid more deaths.”

 

The angel rolls his eyes and looks at the hunter, “Is that what you tell yourself to justify your actions? ‘That you were trying to protect other people and Jack’? Because we both know it wasn’t about that, Dean.”

 

Dean lets a long breath out through his mouth, “Of course I want him to pay for what he did to Mom, but it wasn’t just for that that I locked him there, Cas. He is dangerous and you know it! Doesn’t matter how much we love him; we can’t leave him alone in the world. You saw what he did to all those people.”

 

Castiel turns his head to Dean, rage in his blue eyes, “And I already told you why he did it. Dumah lied to him, made him think he was doing the right thing. He thought that, by doing everything she said, you and would forgive him. Can’t you see that, despite everything, Jack still wants to come home? He wants to be forgiven. Isn’t that what you, me and Sam have been doing for all these years? As you always say, we screw things up and then we try to redeem ourselves. He’s just trying to do the same.”

 

Dean buries his face in his hands, sighing, “It’s not that simple, Cas. He’s powerful, more than anything we have ever seen.”

 

“That never mattered to us. You let Sam live when he was drinking demon blood, even though you knew what that made him. You saved him. The same when he was soulless.” Dean opens his mouth, trying to say something, but Cas just keeps going, “He did so many things during the year he was back and without you, but you did your best to save him, no matter the cost. And you did, you saved him. When I was under Naomi’s control you did your best to save me as well, you didn’t even try to fight me when I was about to kill you.” Cas takes a deep breath and raises his eyes to the sky again, “When you had the Mark of Cain, me and Sam released the Darkness so we could save you. You turned into a demon and we still fought to get you back. How can it be so different with Jack?”

 

Dean snaps, “Because he killed my mom! Even with all of that, we never killed one of our own, Cas.”

 

Castiel raises a brow, “So, killing someone we don’t know it’s fine but as soon it’s someone we know and love, everything changes? I thought murder was murder, no matter who was killed. And we didn’t kill any of our own, but we tried. You tried to kill Sam, I tried to kill you, we all tried to kill each other, we just never succeeded.”

 

Dean sighs, “What do you always have to have a comeback? I’m sorry, Cas, okay? It was my fault. Jack getting away and being even angrier now it’s on me. I know that! And I’ll do my best to change that and to solve it.” Dean looks into Cas’s eyes, that infinite blue that Dean calls home wherever they are. “And I’ll do my best to bring Jack back to us. And I’ll find a way to make him be our Jack again. But you can’t expect me to forgive what he did this soon. Don’t ask me that because I can’t do that, and I don’t want to let you down again.”

 

Castiel’s face softens and he puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder, “I know. But just knowing that you’ll try it’s enough for me.”

 

Dean gives him a half smile, “And I’m sorry for everything I said to you on the cabin that day. I didn’t mean any of that.”

 

“I know, Dean. You were angry and I understand. I hated it and you really hurt my feelings, but I do understand. You just have to promise to try to stop blaming me for everything.”

 

Dean takes one of Cas’s hands between his, “I’ll do my best. I got a good start, right?”

 

Cas tries to fight the smile that comes to his lips, “Yes, I think I can consider this as a good start.”

 

They fall into each other's arms, seeking the comfort and assurance they both need in these desperate times.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me on tumblr as gii-heylittleangel


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